I loved "The Eleventh Hour."  It fits right into the reading material our families appreciate.  We give the blue book, "Gone From My Sight," when the patient and family first come into hospice.  Now we have "The Eleventh Hour" to offer as the patient's journey draws closer to the end.  The families refer to the blue book ("Gone From My Sight") as gospel.  Your books have made the difference in the lives of so many hospice families.

Jerry J. Presses,  Chaplain                                                                                                                                                Director of Pastoral Care and Volunteers

Many thanks for your kindness and for getting your mother's books to me and my sister-in-law so quickly.  They arrived yesterday.  Thanks too for sending "The Eleventh Hour," which I will read and send to her soon.  Mom came home from the hospital yesterday and will be under hospice care at home.  Having gone through the same experience with my own mother three years ago I know what a great blessing it will be for our family in Rhode Island to take care of her through her last days.  I never could have handled it without Hospice and your mother's books.  Looking back on my 72 years it was the most special and important accomplishment in my life.  On the day my mother (Billie Mae) died (Palm Sunday) it was a dark, stormy morning.  I awakened at about 6 AM; my mother was resting peacefully under the watchful eye of a Hospice nurse.  Hospice cared for her, in our home, over a six-month period. The 24 hour nursing care began just about 36 hours before she died.

The moment my feet hit the floor I knew this was her day.  I suggested my husband go and visit her because of this "feeling" I had. After a quick breakfast I went to stay with her because there was a horrific storm brewing.  We had soft music playing (actually on for days, hymns and light classical which she loved).  I told her I loved her and that Bill and I were fine, so it was O.K. for her to leave.  I told her God was coming on the wings of the storm to take her home.  It wasn't more than a minute or two before she drew her last breath.  It was awesome to share this moment with her!  Thank you, Barbara Karnes, for giving me the information and support to make that journey with her.

Sincerely,

I just wanted to write to you regarding your book. I lost my brother a year ago July 27th. I had a hard time dealing with his death but your book helped me a lot. It helped me prepare myself for his departure. At first I couldn’t see the signs, or maybe I didn’t want to see them. But after my family and I talked and I re-read it I saw the signs of how he left. I felt the most important part, we were all able to tell him it’s O.K. if he’s ready to go it was O.K. ‘cause we didn’t like to see him suffer. I just wanted to thank you for wanting to help people out with your words of wisdom you share. It was a blessing from God to give you the ability and knowledge to have written this book for others who need the help to get through the hardest times in life. I thank you with all my heart.

Thank you,
Alma Feliciano
Pittsburg, CA

Thank you so much for your booklet “Gone From My Sight.” It was given to our family as my husband’s father lay dying in Eastland, TX. I have read through it many times, and am touched at every reading. I find it very comforting and immensely helpful in understanding the process. You’ve done a wonderful thing for us.

Thank you.
Robin Cowley
Oakland, CA

I’m writing to thank you for writing and publishing “Gone From My Sight.” Your booklet was the single best resource for education, reassurance, and comfort while my grandma was dying. I was extremely impressed with its honesty and simplicity—two things my family desperately needed. Your booklet helped my family understand the dying process and, because of that, we were able to give my grandma a dignified dying experience and place her in Hospice. From the bottom of my heart and on behalf of my entire family—THANK YOU.

Ryan Tafro, RN, BSN
Gilbert, AZ

My mother passed last Saturday, July 21 and I want you to know what a comfort your booklet, “Gone From My Sight” was to me, my grown children and my husband, as we gathered around my mother for chitchat, laughing, reminiscing and enjoying one another’s company, knowing that, even though she was unable to speak, she was a part of the family gathering. Mom waited for our youngest daughter, who is so much like my Mom, to arrive from Great Lakes Naval Station in Chicago before slipping away to a better place and her spirit is now free of the painful, diseased body she left behind.

Thanks to your booklet, given to us by the hospice care providers at Vitas, we knew and understood what to expect so that we could link hands and pray around her as she passed. You are a blessing to all of those experiencing death up close for the first time.

My husband and I own a health food store in Monrovia, CA and we also have our own radio program on KRLA870am radio and XM Satellite radio, channel 170. Today, we told our listeners to call our store to find out how to obtain copies of your booklets through Vitas; I since found your website and will refer further inquiries directly to you.

It is delightful to be able to share your experience with our listeners and we thank you for sharing your gift of writing with others.

Many Blessings Always,
Vicki
Monrovia, CA

I flew east to be with my sister August the 17th when notified by her children that she was dying. She had hospice care and my nieces were supplied with a copy of your book, “Gone From My Sight.” They felt this was very helpful and when I read it I realized that it was indeed very helpful. This book helped me to recognize the various phases as my sister’s death approached gradually. My sister was expected to last only three days, but she lasted six because of a heart that just didn’t give up. We all recognized the final stage telling us she wouldn’t make it through the night. I was so impressed by your booklet that I am ordering it for myself but also a copy for my pastor and the Board of Deacons. I believe this should be a resource for those of us in our church congregation who visit the ill and dying. I expect that the Board will subsequently order a basic supply to have on hand for times it is needed to be given to members of the congregation.

God Bless you in your work.

Sincerely,
Margaret W. Johnson
Black Diamond, WA

We here, at Rozga Funeral Home have always felt that our main goal was to provide complete services before, during and after the funeral to the families we take care of.

I was recently contacted by Barbara Karnes Books, Inc. to explain why & how we use material that is primarily targeted for the Hospice and Palliative Care Industries. As a full service funeral care provider, it becomes necessary to understand grief not only after a death occurs, but the circumstances leading up to that final good-bye. Many times our families are directed to set up the funeral arrangements before the death occurs in an effort to ease some of the burden when the loved one does die. Many people who are diagnosed with less than six months to live, come and visit us so that their clear wishes for their funeral can be made known.

Having lost six of my dearest loved ones, I became familiar with Hospice care, to the point where I even volunteered my time. “Gone From My Sight” was the first of Barbara's writings I had encountered. It eloquently depicts what can, may and most often does occur as death approaches. “My Friend, I Care” assists the people who are helpless when a friend is struggling with grief and loss. One of the best ways to understand grief from death is to gain better understandings of life. The Final Act of Living  does a wonderful job educating families, care givers and friends on what journey lies ahead.

Time and time again, the families that I have offered these publications to benefit tremendously. The comfort they have provided along with some insight is priceless. These writings are simply some of the best I have read. Barbara is not only gifted at sharing her expertise and knowledge to people at a critical time, but she has done it with grace and strength much needed by our families at that time.

Sincerely,
Jacqueline C. Rozga
Rozga Funeral Home
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Thank you for the opportunity of reviewing Barbra's new book, The Final Act of Living. I found her conversational style easy to read, yet she conveyed significant depth in her discussions.

This book would be an excellent one to read for the new hospice nurse and a good review for the seasoned hospice nurse. In addition, every family with a terminally ill member should read this book. It will eliminate the fear and uncertainty that comes with not knowing 'what comes next.' Barbara has captured the essence of hospice work, while teaching the details one needs to know to care for a loved one in their last stage of life.

Thank you, again, for this opportunity.

Sincerely,
Anne E. Koepsell, MHA, BSN, RN
Executive Director

I attended your afternoon class yesterday, with my daughter, grand-daughter and a great grandson (the baby on your far left that we were trying to keep quiet).

I am writing to tell you how much your class meant to me & my family too, I hope...We have not had time to discuss it yet. My husband has cancer, and we don't know how much longer he will last. My family will be there with & for him when I cannot be there, as I still have to work, for the insurance. He will be 60 in a couple weeks, and we have been told he cannot get social security because I make too much money.

From your class it appears to me that he is not to the '2-4 months before death' stage yet, but he could be getting close. His Dr did suggest Hospice last month, but my husband chose to do another dose of chemo. His body is giving up though, he is down to about 130lbs., and is getting to the skin over the bone stage...He still tries to go fishing when the weather is warm. Some days he says he is ready to give up, but then he sees our great-grandson, (his namesake), and he decides he isn't.

I really don't know what to write, but I feel a lot better after your class. I already believed the part about 'somebody being there to guide you along.' I really needed to hear the part about not feeling guilty about wishing it would be over, not for me & my life, but for him. It's hard to watch him shrivel up & waste away, and want to do things he can't. I had to catch myself last night not to say the comforting things to him. He is one of the first kind of people you talked about. He doesn't want to talk about making plans & 'the going.' He says “you know what I want.” I'm the other kind, Type A, I've been a 911 dispatcher for over 32 yrs, since before there was 911. I used to be the other kind, but now I just want things planned out.

I don't know what else to say, but when we get to hospice, I hope we get someone like you.

Thank you for the comforting words, and the things to watch for. I have been wondering how it will go, like you said we have been taken away from the way relatives died. I hope I can continue to give him the support he needs, when he needs it, and be there for him.

I know your class will help our family get through the process of helping a precious family member 'go home.'

Thanks again for your comforting words, and I think I will be ordering your book on line.

Nancye Owens
Sutherlin, OR 97479

I'm certain you receive feedback on your books regularly. I want to be among those who thank you profusely for “Gone From My Sight.”

On March 19, my mom passed away. She was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer in January and scheduled to begin chemotherapy in early February. Her nightmare was just beginning as she was hospitalized on February 10 and never returned home. My mom turned 86 on February 28. She was a walker and did so every day. We had so few signs of what lay ahead. She became so ill so quickly, we were questioning her doctors and trying desperately to make sense of it all.

As she grew progressively weaker, my brother, step-father and I committed to do everything in our power to be present for her. On March 17, 2007, the doctor told us there was no more he could do. Her reserves were gone and it was a matter of hours/days. We handled what we could, the priest, etc. but it was a fabulous nurse, Gen Ginilo, at John Muir Medical Center, Walnut Creek, CA who gave me a copy of your booklet, “Gone From My Sight.” She talked with me about what was happening to my mom and to help us understand how we could support her.

As I watched my mom pick at her blankets and listened to her mumblings, I no longer tried to make her stop that and talk to me. I understood I had to change my role and help her travel this path. My brother, who had been raising his voice so she could hear him, understood that softer was better as he held her hand. On March 19, I arrived at the hospital first and found my mom quite agitated. Because of your booklet, I understood what to do. I held her close to me and assured her we were going to be all right, as I pressed the call button for the nurse. Mom relaxed and was able to lie back absent her rigid posture. I sensed the change in her, calm and peaceful. It was as if she was waiting to hear some reassurance that we understood that she was ready to make the journey.

The medical staff was outstanding with our mom and our family. They suggested we consider hospice care at Bruns House if my mom left the hospital. I left my mom late that afternoon and stopped at Bruns House in Alamo, CA. What a warm, caring home it was. They assured me they could help if we needed them. On the night of March 19, my mom was gone from my sight. Thanks to your booklet, I intellectually understand. My heart aches but I know we did all we could and reading your words made all the difference.

Thank you so very much for being part of our lives. Gen received 'Employee of the Month' from John Muir partly due to a letter I sent regarding her caring assistance to my mom and our family while our mom was on 3 North. Part of our gratitude involved her giving me a copy of your booklet.

Gratefully,

Ronnie Thompson
Ventura, CA

“Gone From My Sight” was a true gift. We referred to it over and over and it helped us walk thru the “Shadows of death” right to the end. It made it so much easier knowing what to expect and watch for. I wasn't as fearful of the “unknown” because you showed us God's plan. Thank you so much. Now I send the book to friends who are traveling the same road so that their journey to say good-bye will be warm and loving.

Kathy Morgan
Ridgefield, WA

“My Friend, I Care” is the best book I've read in 20 years after my first husband died. Most books are so long and boring and hard to focus on because of our pain. “My Friend, I Care” is easy to read over and over and shows us we are not alone. When I saw exactly what I was doing and what stage I was at—I changed my thought process to move on. My second husband died and the stages of grief are the same—but your book helped me more than I can say and I give one to friends to help them speed up the process of not feeling that scar permanently. Thank you so much.

Kathy Morgan
Ridgefield, WA

Hello again--
I lost my best friend and husband, Chuck Morgan, . . . to cancer. We had hospice from Sat. 'til Tues. night when he died peacefully. Your book was so helpful. My sister stayed with me to help and we read it OVER AND OVER to prepare ourselves. His breathing became different towards that last hour—I had the Hospice bed in the living room, fireplace on 24 hours a day and TV [football : )] down low or music—candles burning above mantle. Very cozy and beautiful.
He finally lifted his legs—knees up, and started moving around so I ran back to the bedroom and got the cross and rosary from his first wife's casket and a rosary from Majagari that was draped by his bed and put all 3 on his little chest and told him I loved him and it was OK to go to the other side and if you see a light –go—there are loved ones awaiting your arrival. His mom and dad—His wife--[our dogs? : )] my husband John and lots of friends—It was minutes and he took his last breath and then the ones that follow—A smile within 2 hours time! What a wonderful book to walk us thru it--

Much THANKS--

Kathy Morgan
Ridgefield, WA